If you’ve read this blog for a while then you know I’m all about that friendship and have written several posts about that particular subject since 2012 because I love it and I have opinions to share. And today I’m returning to that topic of friendship and how they can be all too brief when we grow up.
You see friendship like any relationship is one that everyone deserves to have. It is our ties to people that gives us strength and support, helps us along our journeys and makes life more enriching fun in general. And for some they have friends but then lose them and I think those connections break down because of:
- Hanging in different social circles
- Moving away from each other
- Changes in personality
- Trying to maintain long distance relationships
- Or simply not having the time to meet
Whatever the case maybe, things don’t work out and so, as an adult, the landscape of making friends is every different from it works in the world of education.
The Brief Encounters
In school, college and university its different, in that landscape you’re essentially thrown into a space with other people and you can make the choice socialize or not, but in most cases you make friends and start forming those important bonds. However with life, once you once university kicks in or you get a job, then things get trickery with not only your established friends but also making new ones.
One of the worst things for me is the brief encounters we share as adults. Even with old friends, once you get a full-time job or start a family, everything comes down to scheduling, and even when you finally get around to seeing said person you’ll probably only have a few hours together before having to shoot off again. Or when it comes to new friends, you could meet someone or several people you get on with so well, whether you’re similar in personality or love for the same music or are complete opposites that attract. Whatever the case is these are people spend a short time with, but enjoy being around, they could be work colleagues, fellow volunteers or people you meet on a night out or abroad, but when the job, event or situation ends, you’ll never see those people again. It sucks when you’re surrounded by such awesome individuals, but then they’re gone almost as quickly as you met. Since going to university I’ve met countless people who have become some of my favourite mates or friends for one day or a nights out or a few months off and on when we’ve seen each other. Even this year while volunteering I met such a colourful set of diverse and great people who I will probably never see again and it kind of hurts that these people will exist only in my memories now and nothing more.
The Long-Term Connections That Break
There a lot of people who I thought I’d be friends with forever, but those connections faded. Now some of those break-ups are partly my fault but there are others at fault as well, but it all comes down to circumstance and time, life’s to unpredictable to make any assumptions on anything, especially relationships. Sometimes shit happens and things that were long-term become short or disappear entirely. Obviously if the emotional tether is there then your relationship will survive any storm, but there are times when you’re surprised to see those connections you believed to be so strong, broken so easily. I’ve had to learn the hard way what its like to lose friends through college and university. I used to be under the dumb assumptions that it was awesome to have many friends and thought I’d be cool with everyone I knew forever, but obviously things never turned out that way. I know that I’m forgetful, don’t reach out enough and sometimes make plans with people only to cancel later on because of a more pressing matter. But anyone who knows me knows that I commit 110% to them and no matter how long we’re apart, we’ll pick up where we left off on our next encounter.
It is those people, the ones who you don’t see all the time but can instantly reconnect with who are the best. I am extremely grateful for those who have yet to give up on me and consider our friendship as close as family. That stuff is special.
It just hurts when a friendship ends when it comes to someone you really care about, and in most cases most people simply drift apart with no significant reason as to why. Those are the one’s that can be random and troubling as you may wonder what happened for things to end up as they have. I know I questioned it heavily when some of my friends started dropping off my radar in college, I started to think I was a bad person and attempted to try and keep all the connections alive, but failed miserably. In the end I’ve accepted that some those who know and respect me will be around for the long haul and circle of good friends have never tighter, though I’ve also noticed that there will be brief friendships that come and go and while they will vary in their level of significance but there will always be someone new around the corner.
Thanks for reading and hopefully you found this somewhat informative and if you have anything you’d like to contribute about this subject matter please comment below and I’ll see ya on the next blog post.