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Playing The Waiting Game Until May

Hello ladies and gents, time for another blog post from the personal side of me. Lately life has gotten on top of me, mainly the same old problems like before (financial and educational), and it has left me feeling a little angsty. So I’ve released that right now, life is kind of lame and the only reason I’m dealing with all this bull right now is due to the month of May.

may-calender The month of May is time of new beginnings for me.

So you may ask what is so good about May? Well there’s several things. Firstly for films it’ll be a great month with Amazing Spider-Man 2, Godzilla, X-Men: Days of Future Past and Maleficent being among the most anticipated of that month and if they’re anything as good as they look then it’ll be a good time at the cinema.

Also May will be the point when I go to my first music concert of the year when I go to see Janelle Monรกe in Manchester. She is one of my favourite musicians and I have waited for ages to see her live, hopefully this year will be my time. After that I have two major events going down in July involving a film convention and another Legend of Zelda concert too.

But the most importantly May is the month when I finish university, FOREVER. Just the feeling alone knowing that uni will be over in a few months is enough for me to endure this complicated educational adventure a little longer. Don’t get me wrong, uni has been one of the best experiences of my life both in and out of class, but right now I’m going through education fatigue and I’ve had my fill. I can’t wait for all that free time to be mine again. To be able to sleep, play video games or go to the cinema and not feel guilty or have to worry about any hand-ins. That freedom will also allow me to blog more and get back to my YouTube stuff in full force, cannot wait to be free and do more creative projects on my terms.

So to summarize, right now life isn’t bad, but the future holds so much promise that I can’t wait for May to come along and end this current nightmare yo. ๐Ÿ˜›

 
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Posted by on February 15, 2014 in Life

 

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Chasing your dreams even when you lack courage

Howdy ladies and gents, time for another personal blog post and this one centers around my aspirations in life and how I’ve fallen off track and gotten a little confused on my road towards greatness.

chasing-the-dream-0

That’s what I’ve been doing since my childhood and its the only thing that makes my future worth living for. Sounds bad, but its true.

Well it is no secret that I’ve been feeling incredibly off of my game in the world of art for a very long time now and it has seriously affected not only my mood but my university work and this bothers me greatly. But to fully understand the issue we’re gonna have to go back in time.

Let’s look back at 1997, I was seven years old and had decided I wanted to be a cartoonist or at least create cartoon shows that I wanted everyone around the world to see and become stupidly famous. Back then in junior school from then until I was eleven, you would have meant this overly energetic little monster of a boy who dreamed big and was full of confidence. He drew because he loved it, but he also loved the attention. Back then especially at age nine through to eleven I felt invincible. I drew pictures nearly all the time, people loved and respected me for my work and since I was the only one doing it I felt indestructible. I was one of a kind and I loved the power… However that eventually changed once I got to secondary school.

Art from 2002, at 12 years old I’d really gotten into Spider-Man thanks to the first Sam Raimi film.

Once I started doing art after I went into secondary school I found that there were other people with the same talent as me, doing the same drawing stuff and that’s when I felt for the first time kind of intimidated because I wasn’t the special guy any more. Unfortunately it only got worse when I did GCSE art where I found that there was not only several artists in my year, but also artists that were a hell of a lot better than me and more versatile being able to use paint, water colours, oil pastels, chalk,ย graphite, etc. I felt so small. But the biggest blow was when my art teacher told me in year 10 that I should stop drawing cartoons and start doing other styles of art. Now while I understood what she was trying to say, at the same time she was telling me to give up the art that made a sketcher in the first place. I felt offended and personally said to myself “Fuck that!”

Sonic and Shadow, age 14.

And so I continued to hone my skills in spite of all the other brilliant people around me and from school through to college I excelled and became a much better sketcher but also got better at using other mediums too. It was at this point I knew I wanted to be an animator and craft animated films and TV shows. So when I came to university I was ready to learn, adapt and become awesome, but what uni did again was make me feel even smaller than I ever could have imagined. Here all the students were ABSURDLY well-versed in art, cartooning, 3D modelling and all that other stuff and seeing their work just made me want to cry. I’ve never been good at handling competition that was within close proximity to me, but because of how good it was in comparison to my own work and then seeing the kind of material the industry demands, I just felt like shit.

One of the last few pieces of good work I did almost 4 years ago, I never draw anything this elaborate any more.

So now we arrive at present day. I’m in my final year of uni and I fear I may fail the year, why? Because I don’t believe I have the skills necessary to pass. I have a lot of self-doubt going on in my world these days and lack inspiration a lot too. This has seriously affected my work ethic when doing my last two modules.

You could argue that it’s the wrong frame of mind to be in and you hand to pick yourself up and do your best and things will work out. But getting out of a hole of doubting yourself is not easily. I’ve been this way for a long time now without even noticing it until recently.ย I don’t even know how I ended up like this, I honestly used to believe I was the shit, the best guy ever at what I did and I thought with my mind, that I would create so many things that would change the world. And to a degree I believe that I could still change the world with the madness that resides within my head, it is just a question of materializing the ideas in my head.

In the end I know what I have to do, I just don’t know how. I’m not sure if it the people in my class that’s putting me off or whether it is the pressure of university grades or if it’s just me. Either way I’m tired to fighting myself. I know what I want in life and I will fight for it with all I have. I think I just need a little help and then I’ll recover.

Thanks for reading yo.

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2014 in Life

 

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The Film Reviews Will Return, I PROMISE!

Hey ladies and gents, as you might notice, as of recent I haven’t been reviewing films as frequently as I used to and I don’t want you to think I’ve given up or dropped off the face of the planet, I’M STILL HERE, I just have other commitments with uni and my new job, So yeah let me give you some info on my situation.

cinemaonscreenThis is where I belong, and I’m being denied of it!

Now as I’ve said before, I’ve gotten a hell of a lot of stuff going on in my life at the moment. Firstly my animation course has been bleeding me dry with the three modules I’ve had to do and while it’s not been hard per-se, it has been tedious and time-consuming. Secondly I started my new job last weekend and that eats up all of my weekend and since its night shifts, when I get hope I’m almost dead and crash out, but for some reason I sleep even longer during this time which in turn means I have no time in the day to do anything and that sucks! All of this has made my cinema going experience very difficult to tackle.

However never fear as I shall return to the cinema soon!

With the hand-in of my uni work coming around next week and most of my work being finished this weekend, I’m thinking that I will treat myself to the cinema after all this stress and bullshit.

So what’s on the card? Well here’s the list of films I want to see and review:

  • Frozen (I have heard LOADS of people go one about this film like it’s the most amazing thing ever, I’m curious to see if it meets the hype)
  • Saving Mr. Banks (I’ve heard so many good things about this film and I have to see it because of the actors involved)
  • The Butler (This is film I had followed for a while so I’m hoping to catch it at some point)
  • Philomena (It’s got Judi Dench in it, and Steve Coogan in a serious role, plus Mark Kermode said it was good. I’m down)
  • Kill Your Darlings (It has Daniel Radcliffe and Dane DeHaan in it, I’m interested by that alone)
  • Anchorman: The Legend Continues (Liked the first film, wanna see the sequel, nuff said)
  • The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Loved the first film and early reviews say it’s better than the first so I CAN’T WAIT!)

Here are films I am kind of half and half about:

  • Homefront (I heard this film isn’t anything special, but I like the cast and the trailer, may check it out)
  • Bad Grandpa (The trailers for this looked hilarious, it’s still showing in Sheffield, so I’m gonna try and catch it)
  • Oldboy (This is remake that didn’t need to happen, but I may watch it to see how much it fails)
  • Carrie (It’s a remake, I like Chloรซ Grace Moretz, but I’ve heard lame things, I can take it or leave it)

As for films I want to re-watch well we have:

  • Thor: The Dark World (I really liked this film and annoyingly I haven’t seen it since opening day, weak!)
  • The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (This was a good film and I really liked it above the first, need to check it out again)
  • Gravity (Great film, gotta see it for the crazy amazing visuals again)

Films for December 2013I know Homefront isn’t on this list, but I messed up on the Photoshop alignment lol

So yeah expect a good deal of reviews over the next few days/weeks. TRUST IN ME! ๐Ÿ˜€

 
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Posted by on December 7, 2013 in Films, Life, Media

 

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Second Guessing My Future Aspirations

Howdy ladies and gents, time for another insight into my mind and today I’m having another one of those reflective days. At this current point I’m procrastinating doing my work for my 3rd year modules at university because of a combination of laziness, but also a lack of inspiration and creativity. And it got me thinking, is this what I wanna do for the rest of my days?

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For the longest time since I was a kid I’ve wanted to an animator and create cartoons that the world could see with my name on it, however in the last few years, on several occasions I’ve been questioning whether it is the profession I really wanted to go into. I love animation, no doubt about it, however, I have always questioned with I had the talent or patience to jump into such a competitive industry.

DoubtMaybe it is just down to self-doubt, but I believe it is more than that.

So if I were to jump ship from the world of animation where would I go next? Well I’ve always had backup plans. I’ve considered loads of roles in media including: camera operator, illustration, comic book artist, concept artist and then there’s radio too (something I absolutely have a big love for),

But one job that I’ve really given some thought to is being a writer.

writerYeah, I’ve actually considered this line of work and to be honest I think it’d be pretty interesting for me.

Since my late teens (around 18 or 19) I considered that maybe writing is something for me to look into and considering all the blogging I’ve been doing since I started being a blogger in 2007, add to that my reports and essays I did for my media production course in college and I would say writing ha become a big part of my life. Plus I’ve always liked to tell stories, whether they’re my own or fictional. People tell I tell pretty good stories and since it’s still a form of creation, I’d be totally down with it as a profession.

The only question is where does this leave me with animation? Trust me, it is something I haven’t given up on by any means, but I guess right now I’m in a bit of rut and I dunno how to shake it off. Maybe it’s because of the pressures of university and its deadlines and how it stifles my creativity or maybe it’s because its part of education, something I’ve been doing for the last 7 YEARS. I dunno, I could just be fatigued or lacking in imagination. For the longest time I thought I knew what I wanted in life and now that we’re making movements towards the dream, I’m not sure if I wanna chase this dream and change my path. I’m truly lost in the world of my own mind right now and it is hardly helpful. :S

Well that’s it for now, thanks for reading peeps and I’ll see ya on the next post yo! ๐Ÿ™‚

 
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Posted by on December 5, 2013 in Life

 

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New Job, First Night Shift!

Howdy ladies and gents, time for me to divulge another chapter from my life and luckily it is one of the happier variety. Recently I just got a new job and it was honestly one my favourite first-day-on-the-job experiences I’ve ever had.

newjobThis is honestly how I felt after I got my new job. New job, new possibilities! ๐Ÿ˜€

For those who have followed this blog for a while, you may remember that I had a job back at the late side of summer, it was a hard job, but the staff and atmosphere was incredible, but I got let go in early September. To be honest it was my fault because I blogged about my workplace and used visual examples (idiot). So yeah I’ve been without a proper job for a while now, but after drifting through the ocean of unemployment, someone threw me a lifeline and now I’m back in the game with consistent work up until New Year’s.

Now for obvious reasons I’m not gonna disclose any information relating to my job in case someone’s watching me from the shadows (and waiting to try and mess me up). So all I will tell you that the job is similar to stuff I’ve done before and the location I work at is proper fancy and cool.

Last night I started my first shift there and it was first of many night shifts! Now I’ve always heard a lot about night shifts and had been curious to try it out myself one day just to see if I’d survive. My dad had been doing it for years and I always thought he was hardcore for doing so, I think he was my inspiration for taking on this type of work. So let’s just say that my job requires me to continuously keep moving and help out of people, it is crazy, busy, chaotic and can get messy. However once you get into the groove of things, it’s actually pretty fun and I had a good session. It helped that the music was varied, cool, nostalgic and got some oft he other staff dancing. And speaking of the staff they’re some of the most helpful, funny and coolest people I’ve come across in any job for a while. They were great and to be honest I couldn’t have asked for better people to work with.

My work hours was initially meant to be from 7.30pm to 6am! That scared the life out of my at first, but it wasn’t that bad, plus I got left got slightly early at 4am which was wicked. I pretty much slept like a brick until around 4pm today, so I obviously haven’t been up for that long haha.

The only thing that worries me about this job is how it clashes with my 3rd year uni work. My animation module is getting proper crazy with the deadlines and presentation at the moment and in all honesty I’m not sure how I’m gonna juggle it all, but hell imma try. Gotta survive and rise above! ๐Ÿ™‚

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2013 in Life

 

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Hey Check Out My New Animation Blog!

Hi peeps! Just making a quick post to let you know that I’ve got another blog that I’d like you to check out. Basically I’m in my third year of my animation course and it’s mandatory for us students to make a blog, so yeah I thought I’d do a bit of shameless promoting and tell you lot about it.

Here’s the blog below in action:

My World of Animation

It’s pretty new but if you lot would like to see the kind of work that I do on my course then check it out yo! Thanks and I’ll see ya later.

 
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Posted by on November 13, 2013 in Life

 

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Lazy Days Are Taking Over

Hello to all who may be reading this blog post, now its time for me to talk about the random stuff going on in my life or should I say that lack of it. Fact is I am lazy and since the summer that chilled out demeanour hasn’t left me just yet which isn’t doing me any favours when it comes to my uni work and social endeavours.

Lazy Times and Lazy Blogging

Yep, that’s me nearly all the time these days yo.

I think I should explain why I am in the position that I am. Let’s rewind back to summer, the season of the year where if you’re not in full-time work warrants you to be as chilled out and lazy as you want. For the last few years I’ve abused the lazy nature that the summer time gives me, this year was no different and to a degree it was one of my worst summer’s for being lazy. But then the uni season kicked in again at the end of September I’ve had to get back into work mode, but here’s the thing… I can’t do it.

You see summer had such a massive effect on me, that when we got given all our modules to start doing for this semester I just couldn’t get into the groove, those moments when you’re meant to go home and spend time developing your ideas and drawing (because I’m on an animation course), I’d much rather go to the cinema, play video games orย sleep in until I can be arsed to rise from my bed. Point is I am back at uni where work has gotta be done and it’s not getting done because I’m totally in the wrong mindset.

Problem is I can’t shift it.

motivation

Now a lot people would just say, “Get off your lazy ass and do something!” and believe me I would like to, but I’m a guy that needs a hell of a lot of motivation to get myself in check. I normally work off of a goal or need some killer inspiration to get myself in a creative mood and right now in life I haven’t found that groove.

So to conclude I hope I find that creative spark sometime soon because I am a third year student and final projects don’t do themselves. ๐Ÿ˜› Until next time people, thanks for reading and I’ll catch ya later!

 
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Posted by on November 3, 2013 in Life

 

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Two Years On WordPress And Still Rocking!

Hi people of the internet, time for another personal blog post and today is a special occasion as it marks my two-year anniversary of being a member on WordPress! Yay!

wordpress-logo-hoz-rgb

Ah WordPress you’ve been good to me for the last two years!

Honestly it feels like I’ve been hanging about on this website longer than two years. I’ve practically spent so many hours of my life on WordPress that it’s all blended into one another. I remember when I made this blog in my first class in university back in September 2011, it was meant for class work and yet I took it upon myself to do what I wanted with it and two years on I love how things have turned out.

This blog was just meant to be something for reviewing films on the odd occasion, but now I’m proper into reviewing loads of things and I even do loads of news-related stories too. I could never imagined that this blog would take over my life the way it did and become as successful and fun as it has. Though I still believe I have a way to go before I become all-powerful, so to all my readers and subscribers I thank you for your support and I hope that you’ll continue to follow my epic journey of blogging and see what the future holds!

So to conclude thanks for reading, happy anniversary to myself and WordPress and let’s hope for several more days of crazy blogging! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

From your unnatural blogger Curtman aka the Hypersonic55! ๐Ÿ˜€

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2013 in Life

 

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Freshers Week Year 3: I can’t be bothered…

Howdy ladies and gents, today I’ve got another personal blog post for ya and it focuses on the whole first week of university partying known as Freshers Week, and how this year I’m just not arsed about it.

freshersgraphFreshers used to mean everything to me when September came around for the last 2 years but this year I can easily let it skip by.

So yeah for those who don’t know, I’m a 3rd year uni student doing animation in Sheffield. I don’t really care for my course, but I love my friends on the course and I love the nights out, best part about being up here at uni. I honestly love nights out, it is one of my favourite things to do and it totally dilutes all the pain, suffering and drama that comes with university. For the last 2 years I’ve been out during Freshers and had a pretty jokes time. It really is a week designed for first-year students and believe me when I came to uni 2 years ago it was one of the most hectic, crazy and awesome experiences of my life. And even though last year wasn’t as good, I still had a brilliant time with my mates… So again now we’re here, however, this year for some reason I’m not so excited. In fact I could just let this major student week of partying pass me by.

So what’s the deal? Why have I just decided to call it quits on the biggest partying week for students?

Some may blame the fact that I’m 23, I’m too old and above the normal age group to be out with all the youngins, and to that I say bullshit! Honestly I love nights out, I’m probably one of the biggest party animals ever and I’ll probably be rocking for the next 20-30 years if I’m lucky.

I think the reason why is quite simple; I’ve just moved on.

transition

Change, I took it on-board and now I’m doing things differently.

The more I think about it the more I just don’t care about it. Sure its a big week for partying out on the town, but in truth I’ve got plenty of other things that I could be doing instead. I could be playing video games, catching up on all my TV shows or doing blogging online like I am now. But I think the main reason I’m not bothered is because just like all things in life, we go through a period of loving something so much and then as we move on that specific thing just doesn’t have the same effect on you. Then the thing you loved becomes the thing you no longer like.

move-on-6mi2xtmn9-134813-500-309

Here’s hoping there’s some truth to this statement.

In conclusion I’m not saying that I’m giving up the party life, far from it, I’m just saying that it’s not so much of a priority and I’m just gonna be slowing down for a bit. So to whoever’s out for Freshers this week or the next, party hard! Just don’t expect to see me that often, if at all. ๐Ÿ˜›

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2013 in Life

 

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September is here… And my summer’s over.

So it is finally September, the month when all forms of educational things start up again and anyone who was on holiday or had time off has to start up the boring portion of their lives again. But most importantly, with the introduction of this month comes the cruel realisation that the summer is well and truly over.

Summer is overThis picture perfectly represents what its like when the summer comes to an end.

Now I wouldn’t say that my summer was a total waste, far from it, I did have a lot of fun. I went to a Zelda concert, went to 2 music festivals, saw the majority of my summer films in the cinema and moved out of my old shitty house and into a WAY better one and I even got a job. I’d say that I’ve done a fair about this summer. That being said, there still was a great deal of stuff I wanted to do this summer that I never got around to tackling. I was meant to have so many summer adventures not only on my own, but with my friends too, but nothing materialized the way I thought it would. And this leads me to the conclusion that there just wasn’t enough time this summer.

There_Is_Not_Enough_Time

I say this all the time, but I totally believe that its true, time never seems to be on my side.

This seem to happen each year; I look forward to the summer, it happens, and then I end up feeling like I wasted it. It’s been like this for the last 3-4 years. Again its not like I purposely waste my time, but somehow the time just gets away from me and I feel like there was so many things I could have done beforehand. I think I can really blame this on the fact that I got a job recently, since the start of August I’ve had job training to take care of which has been eating up my time which meant all the TV shows, films and other hang time sessions I wanted to have with my friends and family have been compromised.

So now we’re here with September, the month that confirms that all your free time and fun is practically over and the crappy times are approaching soon. For me education is around the corner as I had into my third and final year of university, my last 2 years of my animation course have been questionable, so I don’t have much hope for this year especially since its supposed to be the hardest one. But hell I guess we’ll see what happens, though I am missing the summertime already. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2013 in Life

 

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