Tag Archives: frustration

Slowing down production on this blog

Howdy people of the internet and to all my fellow subscribers who check out my blog on the regular. I’m just dropping by today to give you a little update about how things will function on this blog for the foreseeable future.


While I have been pretty inconsistent with my blogging over the last 6 to 12 months, I have still be around to bust out some reviews, news and other topics of conversation for you lot to read and hopefully enjoy. However, times have changed, I preoccupy my time a lot with many TV shows and playing video games, plus my attitude towards writing reviews has changed a lot. Now I love writing reviews and writing in general, there is just something very satisfying about putting thoughts to paper, or in this case thoughts to typed words online. And since my brain never technically turns off, I always have something write about. You should see my draft section on my blog, since I’m always coming up with ideas of stuff I want to talk about on my blog, the drafts never cut down, and actually get bigger. Right now it is around 93 and counting haha.

Last year, when writing reviews I noticed that it started to becoming more work than fun. I know I’ve talked about this before, but I just wanted to mention that writing has become tougher. Maybe it is because I’m far more laid back and lazy or maybe it is due to no longer living in Sheffield or maybe it is because I’m no longer a student of university. Whatever the reason is, writing reviews sometimes feels like the hardest task in the world, whether it is having nothing to say about films or finding it hard to put thoughts into words, sometimes I just avoid blogging because it can be a tad stressful and frustrating, and that is the last thing I want for this blog.

I started this blog for recreational purposes (I hope I’m using that word correctly), it was just for fun and to spark up some conversation with like-minded individuals. But some days I really dread going to the cinema because I know I’ll have to review it because at this point I feel like I have to do it out of obligation to my blog and I do not want this blog to feel like work. Never. A blogging friend, Claire from My Reel POV, gave me some advice about what she did on her time away from blogging and suggested ideas for me too. While I would like to take a break from this blog, I know I wouldn’t be able to stay away for long and would come back with a vengeance haha.

Basically what I’m trying to say here is that I’m going to be slowing down, taking a few breaks here and there and possibly only talking about important films and news. Now this doesn’t mean I’m gone forever, that’s impossible, I’ll just be doing things a little more sparsely. Thanks for reading yo. 🙂


Posted by on March 3, 2015 in Life


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For The Days When You Can’t Be Arsed.

Howdy ladies and gents, how are you all doing? Today I’m just gonna do a quick blog post outlining my current feelings about life at the moment and would you believe that it is back to the topic of being lazy, again.

cant be arsed

Yeah, I know I go on about this kind of thing a lot for those of you who have read this blog for a while, but to be honest it’s hard not to talk about it as a topic for blogging. Every once in a while you just feel that lack of effort in life, whether you don’t want to get out of bed or if you don’t want to go outside or if you don’t want to deal with work, it can be any number of things. One could argue that being lazy or not putting in any effort is not the best way to go or will try to say bad things about you because of that attitude, but in the end it is your life and only you can decide what’s worth doing and what isn’t. And of course, there will always be that moment when you’re just like “Fuck it, I’m done.”

For me, I haven’t been that bothered to do much since August ended. With summer over and pretty much nothing to go back to (I mean education-wise), I’ve been feeling empty and bored. I have felt no need to go to the cinema or when I’m at home, I feel no need to do any of my basic activities like gaming, watching my backlog of TV shows or even blogging, yeah it has gotten that bad. September really is a rubbish month if you’re not in education or have any plans to go on holiday. While there’s some good TV, video games and conventions on the horizon, it is still a few too many weeks/months away and this month feels more like a barrier to better times than a month full of good times. I’m basically playing the waiting game until October now and it is really boring. I may as well just sleep of the next few weeks and wake up when September ends… Haha, I will laugh and give points to anyone who gets that reference.

So that’s my mini blog post done, now I open the floor to you lot. Have you ever had a point in life when you’ve just not felt like doing anything or if like time is taking ages to get to better events in the future? Whatever you have to say drop it in the comments below and I’ll see ya on the next blog post. 🙂


Posted by on September 15, 2014 in Life


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Sorry for being M.I.A.

Good day to all my fellow subscribers, you may have noticed over the last week or so I haven’t been posting that much if at all and I have resurfaced from the depths of the Earth to give you the 411 on why I haven’t been around recently.


So yeah basically I sent my laptop to get repaired because it has been a poor state for the last 2 months and I have yet to get it back… And my life without it is a frigging endurance test! I’ll admit that I am a tech addict and my life feels so empty and boring without my laptop to plug me into the internet so I can blog, go on YouTube, watch my favourite TV shows and just mess around in general. You don’t realize how hard it is to do or how much you miss your stuff until you’re going cold turkey from it. My normal routine has been thrown completely out of whack and I have been limited to my phone and it SUCKS. I’m so limited to my phone which is nearly impossible to deal with because the battery gets drained too quickly.

Besides my ‘lack of laptop’ problems I have been to the cinema recently and will have my reviews of Hercules and Guardians of the Galaxy on this blog later on today. I also have a backlog of other reviews and other posts in the pipeline so look forward to those in the coming weeks.


As far as I know I’ll be good to go with my laptop again by the late side of this week, so please wait for me peeps! 🙂


Posted by on August 4, 2014 in Life


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I Hear Talk of Snow, And I Don’t Like It.

Hello there people of the internet, I wasn’t even planning on doing any blogging today, but recently something has been brought to my attention in the last 30 mins that I feel that I should address. It is something I have talked about on this blog countless times before and again I have to bring it up… It’s here again, THE BLOODY SNOW! GODDAMMIT!


While this isn’t the scene that’s playing outside my window thankfully, I can only imagine the terrors taking place outside.

So check it out, there I am just chilling doing some work on Photoshop while also hanging around on Facebook and then I see a friend post about snow. I’m just like, “I hope that’s not in the Sheffield area.” Then I see several other people on my news feed talking about it and it becomes a frigging epidemic. And my mood goes from chilled out to totally grumpy,

And those of you who have been following this blog for a while know all too well that I HATE SNOW!


This might as well be me when the snow falls, I fall apart, and then get very angry.

While I haven’t seen nay of the supposed snow that was falling earlier, I have seen the aftermath with the small fallen segments and slush in the street. *Grumble* If this is what is coming up through the rest of November and December then I don’t wanna be on the outside for a long time. 😦


Posted by on November 20, 2013 in Life


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Secrets and Lies

“A friendship built on lies won’t last…”

That’s what I said on Facebook the other day and those are words that I stand by. Secrets, lies and deceit, that’s the kind of stuff that can break any kinds of relationships and make them fall apart… And today I’m here to voice my opinion on those matters in light of recent events.

So yeah, before I continue I just want to say this first; I have lied myself. Obviously this makes me sound like a right hypocrite, however I’ve never told any lies that would hurt the feelings of others, when it comes to my friends and family I try to be as true blue as they come. I mean you wouldn’t want people keeping stuff from you and keeping secrets from you would ya? Of course not. I try to be the nicest person in existence with truth at the forefront of my relationships and I expect the same thing back…

But unfortunately there are those who wish to go against this way of thinking. And there are two types of people that really piss me off in this world; those who inconvenience me and those who LIE TO ME!

you_know__i_hate_liars_by_autumnflier-d5nlkoqYep, that sums up my feelings pretty well.

I’m not sure when this became a big thing for me, but I seriously hate liars, fakers, anyone who doesn’t seem genuine or those who have secrets to hide and conceal them with lies. I know that there are some secrets that some people never want others to discover, but when they involve you, it becomes your business.

So picture if you will, a scenario when you told something by someone you called a friend only to find out from someone else that it wasn’t the full story, that they had not only lied, but hid secrets from you and one something truly terrible, cruel, insensitive, that kind of shit that a REAL friend wouldn’t do. All I have to say to that is why?

Why would someone who is your friend do something to betray your friendship? And that’s what troubles me. My relationships are all built on a pretty solid foundation of trust. Any relationship whether it be with your family, friends, lovers, etc. It’s all built on trust, once you take that element out of play and the foundation falls apart.


So in case you haven’t guessed already, I am talking about someone who I thought was a friend who has betrayed my trust in the probably one of the worst ways personally and I’m trying to figure out how to handle the situation without blowing the fuck up. Guess we’ll see what happens, all I can say is that my trust in that person has all but dissipated.


Posted by on October 23, 2013 in Life


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Emotions, they can be so troublesome

Howdy people, time for another personal chapter in my life to be told. Now the last time I did something like this I was kind of aggressive and it got me in trouble before, so today I’m gonna be a little more careful how I choose my words.

Anyways today I’m here just to talk about emotions and how they’ve recently gotten me all messed up for nothing.

EmotionsEmotions, as much as I like them, sometimes they can be really questionable.

Now let’s just talk about emotions, they are the characteristics that make use human and allow us to express ourselves in any way shape or form whether its via physical or verbal means. It is a necessary aspect of our lives and to be honest I dunno how we’d get through this world without them. That being said, emotions, they’re powerful things and it can lead to some explosive results depending on which one’s are used.

For those not in the know I’m a fairly emotional person. Now that doesn’t mean I cry at everything that’s sad or get pissed off about everything, though there are occasions where if I’m feeling some form of happiness or depression I can feel those emotions in full effect.

Recently my emotions have messed up on two recent occasions.

First one is a bit of a doozy. Basically around 2 weeks back when I made two blog posts related to work entitled My First Official Day At Work and Letting The Angry Man Out Of The Cage, in these posts I talked about my first few days starting my job as a kitchen porter and talking about my detest for one of the staff members who was really pissing me off. Let’s just say my words got a fair bit aggressive, and eventually someone from work found it, ratted me out to the manager and that got me dismissed from my job almost 2 weeks ago. Upon reflection I should have just kept the anger inside, but my past has experiences with aggression has always required me to vent the rage out somehow because if it stays locked inside then it’d mess me up mentally. But obviously because of my foolish decision to blog about it completely unaware of the ramifications that would befall me, I am now jobless again. It feels like working there was a short dream that I’ve woken up from because it was so short. But hey that’s what happens when you get angry, I thought I was done with my aggression but I think I still have some issues to iron out.


Anger, its been getting me in trouble since I was a kid, thought I had a lid on it recently but I guess not.

The second occasion was a little less aggressive and a lot more recent, last night in fact. I had gone out with my mates for a night of clubbing and for the most part I was have a good session… Until I saw her. As I was dancing I saw a mate of mine in the crowd and let’s just say I was kind of involved with her and I went through a bit a dramatic episode with back in the summer. While I didn’t sleep with her, I would consider her to be part of an important chapter of my life. Since she’d gone for the summer I never expected to see her at my normal clubbing spot. All those previous emotions came flooding back and messed with my head! I proper felt like a girl in one of those American TV shows that sees one of their ex-boyfriends and starts to get all flustered and asking why are they there and making things feel awkward. I was probably overreacting, but it was the fact that she’d come back and hadn’t said a word to me which bugged me. There was several points when our eyes locked and it felt like she looked right through me, even when we were right next to each other. Bugged me so much and it didn’t help because I’d been drinking in addition to all those emotions floating around in my head. 😦

love_sick_by_lissie_kunI think after all this time I’m still lovesick.

In the end I’m starting to think that my emotions are doing me no favours. All they do is bring out sides of me or highlight thinks I don’t actually like about myself. Hoping I get a hold of myself before I fall into a hole that I can’t get out of.


Posted by on September 17, 2013 in Life


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My First Official Day At Work

Howdy ladies and gentlemen, time for me to blog about another chapter in the life of me. Today’s is an important one as it has to deal with the fact that I actually have a job and how I dealt with my first day yesterday. In short it kind of sucked.

Man Wearing Blank Sandwich BoardThis was what I was like when I got a job, but then I started working and my expression was far from jolly.

Now let’s get something the out of the way first, I AM GLAD I have a job! I’ve been looking for part-time work since I was 17 and now after 6 FUCKING YEARS I’ve finally got something official. Before this job I’d been doing agency work since last June and while that was good for a while, it was far to infrequent for me and sometimes the day wasn’t worth the hassle and long hours. So here we are with my current job and how am I finding it? Not too delightful.

Well I am now a kitchen porter and it’s not the position I originally applied for but when it was offered to me I wasn’t gonna say no was I? The restaurant has a great theme and a nice fast food menu and I like the qualities that the place stands for. As for the staff they seemed friendly enough, it’s mainly my colleagues I like, they’re all such friendly and cool people (besides a few people who are dodgy). And even though being a kitchen porter is bloody hard and tiring, it isn’t too bad when you’re with two other people powering through the work… So what’s the problem?

Well there’s a dark side to my workplace. Now this isn’t so much hate towards the food establishment, that’s fine, it’s the type of work and some of the people I have to work with that’s put me in a bad mood. Firstly being a kitchen porter is practically the worst kind of job, unless you have a crazy amount of patience and a sturdy body then you’ll get tired of doing this type of work pretty quickly. For me I don’t mind the work when we have at least 2 people in the back manning different stations, but when there are loads of pots and pans coming in with mushy food and we’re running out of space and have to do like 3 things at the same time it gets too damn chaotic yo! In addition to that this line of work requires you to have reliable co-workers and while I have 5 other people who I get along with fine, there’s 2 I don’t so much, but more on that later.

ad2939468f186d7fdb01769ca0977ea2So this is what I basically do and there is a reason why that guy is not smiling, it’s not the jolliest job in the world.

The other thing that’s messed me up in this line of work is the amount of training we got, besides one main session, we’ve had to learn everything else on the fly which has led to some awkward and questionable situations when we’ve been told off for not knowing what we didn’t get trained to do in the first place.

So for the last week we’ve been and a half we’ve been training and practising for when real customers come in, we’ve been doing role places and getting to know the all the co-workers. While that was hard work, it was great because I feel like I’m getting to know some really awesome people.

But there are points where I don’t know if I’ll survive this job for even a month.

The main reason I say that is because the work can be absurdly tiring (it’s actually messed with my sleeping pattern), but more so than that, there’s one man I have to work with who really pushes my buttons. Let’s just call him “M” for now. He’s been a troubling me for days. He’s a guy who goes about saying very obnoxious things, being bossy when it comes to doing work and has a very douchebag attitude about things even though I don’t think he’s aware of it. And yesterday I had to spend 5 hours of my shift alone with him… Fuck me, it was endurance. It’s hard enough just being around M, but when you’re doing a busy shift with loads of stuff coming into the kitchen to get cleaned and he’s just bossing you around, I swear I just want to hurt him, it’s just not the one yo. 😦

In the end my first shift as a kitchen porter wasn’t the best and the fact that I had to stay until close instead of the 10pm that was set on the rota nearly killed me. But hey I need money so I should complain. However after last night I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to last at this place before the workload becomes too much for me or I kill M with my bare hands! I guess we’ll see.


Posted by on August 29, 2013 in Life


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The Longest Night of My Life

Howdy ladies and gentlemen. Today I wish to tell you another dramatic tale from my life journeys. Now I know I tend to talk about a lot of dramatic stuff on blog from love to friendship and the hardships of life especially with recent posts like “Living The Rough Days” and “A Day of Endurance“. But From Saturday night into early Sunday morning I went through the definition of a travelling nightmare and I feel compelled to tell my story on the internet just because of how ridiculous it was.


Travelling around the UK normally isn’t hard, but sometimes it can be one of the most frustrating experiences ever.

So let’s go back to the beginning. Basically I was meant to be working as a bar steward at the Standon Calling music festival. So I had to travel from Luton to Standon by coach, that part went well, and I had a fairly good day at work and getting to know people even if some of it was very tedious… The problems however began when I tried to get home.

I finished my shift at 11pm and had to make it back to the bus stop from the festival site. It was almost impossible to make it back to the main road because I was running on a narrow road in the forest, I had to use the light on my phone to make it back. So then I got to the bus stop and waited for my coach to take be back to Luton, but it never arrived. The National Express website lied to me a few days beforehand. So there I was in a town I barely knew, with no means of travelling home and a phone low battery. I was in the shit.

Bloody National Express, the website is so questionable and it likes to give out false information!

So then I attempted to walk down an unknown path but there didn’t look like there was any civilization anywhere, it was at this point where I started to panic and the chorus to Alexisonfire’s “Crisis” really started to sink in: I feel like this could be the end, And there’s not sign of hope, We’ve got a crisis on our hands.

Luckily I ran into a man on the same path who was kind enough to help me out, The man not only called someone to get a local taxi number, but he even called the number and sorted me a place to be picked up from. He was truly a good Samaritan who saved my life and is prove that there are some good people in this world. 🙂

After waiting a few minutes after midnight the taxi came to pick me up and take me to Ware train station (I went there because there was meant to be a train there I could get to get me back to Luton). I got to Ware and the town was pretty barren, so I went to the train station and waited for the train. Besides the one train heading in the opposite direction my actual train never arrived, typical shit for me. I then bought a burger and chips and proceeded to walk around Ware town, lost and looking for a local cab service, but I couldn’t see one anywhere. There really wasn’t much in the way of civilization and the only people around were drunk people, after around an hour of walking around in circles I asked someone if there was a place to get taxis and he pointed out a spot behind the train station (trust the taxis area to be behind the place I first started at!).

So I waited at this place, but it technically wasn’t a taxi place, it was just a point where taxis drive by and you have to be lucky to catch their attention as they move by. I waited for around 30-40 minutes while some drunk people got taxis before me and then sat there as there was a lack of taxis for around 30 minutes. After that I said fuck it and started walking around town again and it was at this point I thought I was actually gonna stranded there until morning, I totally thinking of the song “Stranded” by Alien Ant Farm. While this was going on I was texting my sister on my dying phone as she was telling me what my options were (at this point I was just waiting for my phone to die). I eventually came back to the taxi spot again and I got talking to these 3 people who were heading towards London, one of which was a very drunk lady who asked me what race I was when she could clearly see that I was a black guy! It was ridiculous but hilarious at the same time.


Dunno what Ware is like in the daytime but at night the place is practically a ghost town yo.

After that I luckily got a taxi that would take me to Luton if I gave him £60 upfront, it was a hefty price but at this point I just wanted to get home so I paid the guy and I was FINALLY on my way home. While in the cab I found out that the cab man was from Luton and the same area too so he said he’d drop nearby, what a legend! The radio was on in the background and the song “I’m Still Standing” by Elton John came on and felt that was a fitting song as after all my dramas I was still emotionally intact and still ready to keep going. I got back into Luton around 2:50am and walked home with a bit of Coheed and Cambria’s “Welcome Home“, an appropriate song considering I just gotten back to my home town and was heading back to my house. When I got home just after 3am I had a short chat with my sister and then crashed out.

It seems like for every travel journey that I get right, there are at least a few that go horribly wrong. I mean look at my history:

  • At New Years 2011/12 me and my mates got stranded in St Albans after coming from London and had to haggle with a taxi man to get us back to Luton.
  • I got lost in Sheffield on the other side of town and had to walk and had to walk around 7 miles back to my uni accommodation
  • I had to travel 4 hours from Sheffield to Luton where my ticket got denied in Derby, had to buy a new one, travel to London, buy another ticket and then get back home
  • Or the time I got my train delayed by almost an hour when heading to London

And then there’s a good few occasions when I’ve been lost or had to deal with travelling delays. Now I can add this recent adventure from Standon/Ware to my collection. And to think if I hadn’t run into that man in Standon or got that specific taxi in Ware I basically would have been fucked, man life is a frigging random adventure yo!

I seriously can’t understand why this stupid shit keeps happening to me but it seems like for whatever reason life wants to test me and make me suffer. Well what I’ve taken away from this experience is 1) Don’t trust travel information on the internet. 2) I doubt I’ll ever do coach travelling in the near future. And 3) Never go to a town that doesn’t have a train station!

Well that’s it for another life journal experience I’ve relayed upon you lot. Hopefully you’ve enjoyed reading about my dramas and all that jazz and feel free to comment too. Until the next time peeps, laters. 😀

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Posted by on August 6, 2013 in Life


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A Day of Endurance…

Howdy ladies and gentlemen, I have returned from the depths of the earth to regale you with a tale of my life that was kind of painful and I thought “Yeah, why not share it on the blog.” So yeah it all happened yesterday when I went to the dentist…

I remember going to the dentist when I was a kid, but man, times have changed a great deal since then yo.

I had to got to the dentist because I had some issues with my gums that I wanted to get some clarification on. Now I was kind of nervous because I hadn’t been to the dentist in around 10 years or more, but I thought this was for my own good. I signed a form, waited for my appointment and went in…

So I was told by the dentist that there was plaque around me gums and it needed removing, so I said “Alright cool.” And then the nightmare began…

The dentist lady poked and prodded at my gums with her sharp instruments that made my gums bleed. And then she used this sharp, needle drill and stabbed, glided and dug into my gums and it hurt so bad. I couldn’t deal with it with my eyes open, I just closed my eyes, gripped the chair and endured as it went from bad to worse in a matter of seconds. Honestly I’d never felt so much pain in a long time.

Just looking at this thing makes me cringe. It is an instrument of death!

So after the demented procedure ended I had to spit out so much blood, it was literally gushing. After I left and make my way back through town to my house all I felt was an extreme form of pain in my mouth that I’ve never experienced. I mean I guess the experience was good for my gums in the long run, but holy christ did it hurt!

I used to think the dentist was an alright place, but after yesterday, my perception has changed. Behind that innocent smile of that lady, there is madness going on in the background…

After I got home I was just sitting around in pain, I could feel my teeth and gums constantly throbbing and just when the pain started to fade, it came back with a vengeance! But the worst part (which kind of gets a little messy) was when one area of my gums just wouldn’t stop bleeding. I used mouthwash, warm salt water and rinsed me mouth several times, and yet it kept bleeding continuously. Eventually I gave up trying to stop it and let the blood take its course. By the end of the day I had a whole tooth covered in dried blood.

I eventually cleaned my teeth at the end of the day, but the pain still remained.

So yeah, today I feel better but yesterday was just a lot of suffering and an endurance test of the highest degree. And I hope I’ll never experience anything like it again.


Posted by on August 2, 2013 in Life


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Living The Rough Days

Howdy people and welcome to another blog post. Today I’m just gonna be talking about my recent episodes in life and how the life and times of me have become a tad more difficult.


Yeah, recently I’ve gotten pretty stressed out and looked a lot like this guy.

Basically I’ve just had a few setbacks in my world of recent. Firstly in the last week I’ve moved house from the horrible house I had to deal with to a much nice house 10 minutes down the road. The moving process was kind of frustrating and tedious because me and the guys had to wait for the previous tenants to clean up the house for around 4-6 hours before we could move in. Add on top of that I had so much stuff to move and only had one car, along with my dad to help move the stuff. It took ages. And then we got to the house while our landlord was going through the rules and means of paying him, I’m sure they’d changed since prior to moving in. So yeah I had to quickly fill out some cheques to keep him from hassling me.

Then I find out that he puts in the cheque that I wrote out when I have no cash, and since the cheque bounced I owed my landlord £20 more. So you may say “Why did you make a cheque for a date if you had no money?” Well when I’m under pressure and being hassled I just do things without thinking just to get the situation over and done with. So yeah not smart but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. And with all the money I was meant to pay him between now and September I was stressing out because I had no proper form of income because of the erratic nature of my agency work and the fact that I couldn’t borrow money from my family because they’d already bailed me out in my previous house.

The second major thing that’s happened is that I’ve had to start selling my stuff for money…Again. I never thought I’d have to do this again, but the time had come and I had to give up one of my most precious things, my Nintendo 3DS. When I bought that last year I was the happiest man in existence and I’ve had many great day playing games, demos, messing around on the Mii Plaza and doing all that Street Pass! But the other day I had to sell it, my god it hurt me so bad. Next to films, video games are my in my blood and for me to have to get rid of it for cash made me want to cry. Right now I am still adjusting to not having it with me, I swear life just wants me to suffer right now.

Goodbye 3DS I miss you so badly right now. 😥

And lastly I have two other issues. 1) I am feeling fairly distant from some of my friends because it feels like we’re on two different wavelengths, the compatibility is just feeling awkward and off. May need a change of people yo. And 2) I am currently having to work so hard to find work and am getting next to no results for permanent work, if I don’t get something done soon then I’ll be endangering myself and my housemates.


I know that this is probably true, but enduring it is so painful.

Anyways that’s the dramas going on with my life right now, I know it seems like fairly familiar stuff and I know that these times probably won’t last forever, but luck has always been questionable. It hasn’t been totally bad, I’ve had some fun with some friends who i haven’t seen for a long time and I’ve enjoyed being in a much better house, but the stresses of life aren’t too far away. So I dunno, we’ll see if the summer will present any fun times for me or not. Either way I really need some summertime loving right now haha.

1 Comment

Posted by on July 10, 2013 in Life


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