It Is December, Should I Be In The Christmas Spirit?

Good day to you ladies and gents, time for another personal blog post. So here we are again, it is December, the year is almost over, winter is upon us and Christmas is on the horizon and for the third year in a row I’m not feeling the Christmas groove.

If you have read this blog before (especially since 2011) then you should know how I feel about Christmas. But for those not in the know, let me clue you in. Christmas, it is something I used to love up until 2011. I’m not sure what happened exactly, but my interest pretty dwindled in that year and by 2012 I just didn’t care. Now in 2014 I’m in a position where I’m feeling just as care-free about the Christmas season as I was last year. I see Christmas trees and decorations up in all of the houses near where I live, shops in town are playing Christmas songs, adverts are playing on TV and people are wearing festive clothes and all that stuff. But there I am, just there thinking “Oh, Christmas, that thing is happening again? I hadn’t noticed, I’m just joking, but seriously I’m not fussed.” But I’m also finding myself curious, being around all this Christmas stuff, if I can rekindle the fire.

I seriously used to believe this and in a way I still do, however, that feeling, for me is gone.

I spoke in my previous blog posts about the magic of the season being gone and I still think it is true, that there is a magical aspect of Christmas that makes all of the commercialism and flashing lights bearable. Before it was the magic made watching TV specials and films related to Christmas so fun, it was that magic that made those old church hymns and songs fun to sing along to and made hanging with you family during the holidays so delightful. I think that sense of joy, wonderment and magic is mainly for children and those who never let go of that innocence. Once you become an adult, your perspective on things really change. You can either become a Scrooge, choose to let go of the past calmly or continue on for the sake of your children/younger siblings or family members. For me I want to believe that I could get into the Christmas groove, because nostalgically it has been a great experience for me and made the winter one of my favourite times of year despite the cold and crappy weather. I mean I currently work at a Christmas-themed event in town listening to Christmas songs continuously, I think I should at least try and get in the mood, but I don’t know if I should or when would be the right time to start busting out the Christmas songs of my own.

So in the end something tells me I will at least attempt to get into the festive mood and see if anything becomes of it. Now I pass things on to you, the readers! Do you think I should get into the festive mood or not? And how do you feel about Christmas. are you a massive lover or a big hater? Leave your comments below and let me know! Until the next time, laters. 😀

 

My Post-Christmas Analysis

So here we are the day after Boxing Day and Christmas is over, thank god. Now as I said before in my last blog post related to Christmas I’m no hater of the this holiday, but in recent years my love for this season has started to diminish with every time it comes around. So now in this blog post imma talk about my experience of Christmas this year, how it compared to last year and what may become of my Christmas experiences next year.

Christmas has come and gone, time to reflect on the holiday that’s just past.

So yeah Christmas, it’s one of those special times of the year that brings people together, that makes you happy and normally makes the cold month of December worth of the trouble with all of the presents and all of the TV specials and movies of the telly and all of the food one consumes too. This year however the lead up to Christmas was anything but jolly, in fact I felt nothing at all. Normally the magic towards the date of the 25th but for me December was just another month in the year. Even after I got home and walked around the town center on Christmas Eve I still wasn’t feeling the Christmas vibe.

It wasn’t until I got to my grandparents’ house in London when that former feeling of fun came back again. Every year when I go to my grandparents’ house in London for Christmas Day or Boxing Day I am always in a good groove, my family are around and we’re cracking jokes, the food is aplenty and the TV is normally worth my time too. That part is always guaranteed to make my Christmas a successful one, and while not all of my family members were there it was still pretty fun with my auntie, grandparents, my day and my sister.

In previous years this point of the year was almost as important as my own birthday and I always got excited for it, but after last year my love for the season really just wasn’t there, and now in 2012 I feel like its completely diminished. I thought I’d be in love with Christmas forever and I’d never get bored with it; however I guess time changes people. I dare not think of what will happen when this part of the year comes around in 2013. Will I still be a funk about Christmas or will I be able to find the magic that I once lost? Honestly I would like to be in that happy place again, but I dunno how I’ll do it. Let’s just hope things will change around a year from now. Anyways later on peeps and I hope you’re enjoying your holidays yo! 😀

 

Not feeling the Christmas season at all… Again.

Its incredible, Christmas is literally around two weeks away and yet I don’t feel like it’s coming at all.Right now December just feels like another month in the year to me, and to be honest that just feels so wrong to me.

Funnily I made a blog post about this exact same subject matter last year entitled Just not feeling the Christmas season and last year I felt like the magic of Christmas that normally took over my soul from the early part of December just wasn’t coming like it usually does, and this year looks exactly the same, maybe even worse. You see before last year Christmas was a magical time of year that would make me happy not matter how grumpy I got, but the fact remains now that I think the magic has completely worn off on me. I don’t see December as the month of happiness counting down the days until Christmas, this doesn’t feel like the season to be jolly anymore. All I see is lights, decorations and people in the festive mood, but again I don’t feel that, I’m just going about my day-to-day business taking no notice of the holiday season around me.

Now I’m no Scrooge by any means, I just don’t feel the magic of the season like I normally do. I would love to be able to say something along the lines of “Oh my god Christmas is so close, I am well hyped yo!” I could say something like if I wanted to, but then I’d be lying to myself and there is nothing worst than trying to fake happiness. I wonder if my mood will change when I get back home, one can only wonder.

 

Most Things Happen For a Reason

It has been something I have thought about for quite some time now, but only in more recent times in my life has it become more and more obvious. The whole concept of “actions have consequences” or believing in fate, regardless of what you call it, in my life it seems like that stuff actually applies a great deal. While most may call it a series of highly coincidental occurrences I say that sometimes some of that stuff actually happened for a reason and in a lot of cases my life has been better for it. Like how in the world of education I never got the grades I wanted after school so I had to take additional courses in college to get the qualifications necessary to get to Level 3 and while it was a pain to see my mates from school advancing I can’t regret my movements in college. I met so many lovely people who became my friends, I learnt so many additional skills that lent themselves to my later courses and in the 4 years I spent at college I got so many more opportunities than I would have if I had gotten super high marks in school, so in a way I’m sort of glad of my failure in a way haha. And that also applies to university as well. I had applied for uni in 2010, but then bailed before making my full application through UCAS at the end of that year, so throughout the academic year of 2011 I took a year out and did volunteering. And those days were some of the best times of my life, gaining more skills, getting work experience, networking and so on and so forth. Even when I applied to Westminster and didn’t get in there but was accepted at Sheffield Hallam University I was thinking maybe things would be alright. After all that I knew that this was all part of the bigger picture. So then I went into uni in September and since I have made some incredible new friends, I like my new course and living the university life is an incredible experience.

But sometimes the things that happen in life may not be as big, in fact it could just be the little things like meeting up with friends or certain people in those random locations are the things I find really special. So many times I have been late to a place or chose to take another direction to go to a certain place only to find an old friend or a mate who I haven’t seen in months or years and it feels so good to hang and talk. Back at Christmas I met up with an old friend who I hadn’t seen for 2 years and I was just mentioning him in a conversation with another friend when he just appeared out of nowhere. On that day I know that fate had a plan. Or take this more recent occasion when I was getting off the train I happened to spot my friend’s girlfriend and him on the other side train and we got to catch up again. Now this guy is in the army and it’s normally around 6 months before he comes back to visit, so after I saw him in December I thought there wasn’t gonna be a chance for me to meet him for ages, but there he was on the train with his girlfriend. And to think if I’d gotten the train I originally set myself for an hour earlier then that wouldn’t have happened. Again it had to be fate calling and it felt so good. While most of these occurrences have just been by chance or a strange twist of fate, they really have made me happier or made my life better in some way shape or form.

Sometimes however one has to endure times of great pain and struggle and suffer some of those days where you wish you hadn’t gotten up in the morning. Those are the days that frustrate you, depress you, hurt you, possibly make move you to tears or leave you in an emotional state for some time to come and that’s when you start to question whether things were meant to play out like the way in which they do. God knows I have done that on plenty of occasions. In my life I have suffered with my education from school right up until now in university, also for some reason I can’t seem to keep sustainable friendships with my older friends as they continuously drift out of my life through no fault of my own or take for instance that I used to be completely obsessed with drawing and making things within the area of art and cartoons, but these days I barely do any of that stuff and I’m lucky if I find the time or the effort to draw something truly meaningful. So one does wonder is this the life I should truly be living? Is there something better? Do I have to sit through all this shit before the good stuff comes around?

So right now I am thinking that maybe there is a reason why everything in my life has played out the way it has, I’ve always been a man who has liked to roll the dice of life and see where it takes me and for the most part every move has been a good one. Though I have rolled and lost many times, but as with most things in life not everything is gonna be happy-go-lucky all the time and you gotta go through a lot of shit before you make it through the other side. Though there are some who don’t have that problem, some make it though life without any problems or worries, I call those people rich people. But forget them, fate is a thing that I believe to some degree, though it is highly questionable with the way in which certain things go down in the world. Some may say that fate doesn’t existence and we ourselves make our own luck/fates and while I agree with that totally, I can’t help but feel that there is a greater force making sure I land in the places that I do.

 

And so I see the snow

 

Howdy people, just another random blog here and in this case it’s about snow again. Now I have made a blog post before about my feelings about snow in the post Fear/Dislike of Snow, but for those who aren’t in the know basically I don’t like snow because of the way it inconveniences us in our everyday lives, plus I’ve had my own episodes with snow. I don’t hate the stuff, it’s just annoying. Since back in December I had been expecting some form of snow to show up while I was in Sheffield and yet I never saw a thing, even though my friends had claimed to have seen it on the odd occasion, it wasn’t visible to my eye so that was good. Though I heard around that time that back in Luton, my home town, the snow was falling and I was surprised since I was in the colder area of the UK that the snow wasn’t more apparent in Sheffield, though I wasn’t complaining. So over all of the Christmas season there was no snow to be seen in my eye line, a big difference from last year.

And so we rolled into the new year and in 2012, and I still hadn’t been troubled by the snowy weather, even when my friends had claimed to see it over the course of January it just happened to be in random spots of Sheffield and not in the places where I was. Even when the weather was not looking too good with many cold, dark, cloudy and rainy days all over, it was all pointing towards snow. But luckily it still wasn’t around. But again I kept hearing about snow back in Luton during the course of January and the early part of February. So today I came back to Luton again by train and in the last hour or so the snow has started to fall. It’s the first visual confirmation of snow that I have seen with my very own eyes. I looked outside from behind the front door of my house and I saw the snow lightly falling and making a small white coat all over the place. And at this current hour I have just looked outside again and my god, its frigging coming down heavy. It’s a bloody blizzard! The snow has fallen and its settling outside. All of these bad memories are starting to flash back through my mind and my fears are starting to become real. I fear I shall be attacked, I fear I’ll be inconvenienced in the ways of travel and I fear I’ll be left in the cold to suffer. Good gravy I am afraid for my safety as the winter winds blow in my home town. I hope I’ll be alright :S

 

 

 

 

 

Just not feeling the Christmas season

It’s weird, at this time of year I’m normally very happy, besides the Expo and my birthday, Christmas time is when I am at my jolliest and yet in 2011 I feel next to nothing. It’s not like I’m emotionless, but let me put it into this context; I used to love this time of year, it was always about the merry songs, togetherness with family and friends, getting fat over the amounts of food that you would consume and watching specific television shows, oh and getting some presents too 🙂 Though I can’t say I’m an overly materialistic kind of person because I don’t mind what I get for Christmas, heck I don’t mind if I get next to nothing because in the end my general love for this time of year would normally cancel everything else out. As said before I was just in it for the love of the season. But now I’m not bothered, besides seeing family and having time away from uni Christmas this year has been pretty ordinary. I’m sort of happy about it but at the same time I’m not overly fussed.

Christmas should be a jolly time for all, but not for me this year.

Now I can probably see several people coming at me saying “Scrooge! Scrooge!” But you would be wrong on many levels, I have had fun this time around, just like every year but there has been some degree of normality floating around which I haven’t been able to shake. And I think I realise today what the deal is with me. It’s that feeling you get when you realise something is missing. You know that one element that holds everything together which you normally have but don’t at that present moment. And today on Boxing Day I realise what is missing from my world that has made this Christmas so regular and not so special… It’s the magic. That’s right magic, normally at this time of year around early/mid-December there is a feeling in the air that fills your soul with happiness, this is what people interpret as the magic of the Christmas season. While a lot people claim that Christmas has lost its meaning in commercialism and all that jazz. I have never forgotten what Christmas is about. At this time of year we remember the birth of Christ (Jesus Christ for those not aware) and other than that it’s all about being with your family and loved ones and enjoying their company.

But ever since December started I couldn’t get into the groove of things. I mean I knew that Christmas was coming but I never felt anything towards it, it’s like I said to myself “I should be excited but right now I’m not bothered.” So I thought maybe that’s just random feeling. Maybe that’ll pass in time, however the days edged ever closer and my feelings did not change. Though I did get fairly jolly with me flatmates at uni when they busted out some Christmas songs and we would dance around the flat. I thought that would be enough, but even then it wasn’t. So then I thought “If anything will get me in the mood for Christmas it’ll be “Dubstep Santa” by the Daveyboys. That always works.” And so I went on YouTube and watched all 3 Dubstep Santa videos and it was lovely, I was in my element and it was creating this joyful feeling in my soul, so I thought with this maybe the magic will follow. However right up until the week when uni ended back on the 16th I still didn’t feel anything special or magical. Things were still average.

To be honest this is how I felt for the majority of the Christmas season.

So then I figured okay if go back home to familiar territory then in the last week leading up to Christmas everything will be fine, but then the travel back home happened… Ugh. The less said about that the better, I even wrote a blog on it if you wish to see my post about my suffering here: https://hypersonic55.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/my-terrible-episode-with-train-transportation/

So then after I got home I tried to get into that Christmas groove. But the feeling wasn’t coming, the magic wasn’t kicking in. I also didn’t get my normal Christmas stuff done like watching my favourite Christmas films or television specials on TV, DVD or VHS, my schedule was messed up. So over the last week I had been reacquainting myself with my family and meeting up with many friends, some of which I hadn’t seen for months, others I had seen for years. It was beautiful. I even obtained a PS3 after how many years of waiting and I even got back to the cinema for the first time in 3 months! I was having the time of my life. I even went out on Christmas Eve with my friends and even met up with several old mates while I was out, it was a great night and to be honest it was the closest feeling I got to that Christmas magic because I was having fun in the company of friends. 🙂

So then while I was out Christmas Day came and I was in a lovely groove, so with a good feeling in my soul I left my friends in town and headed home around 1am. My sister and I set up the PS3 and played Mortal Kombat 9 for a few hours while opening my presents. So after our little playing session we went to bed. Then we got up a good few hours later, opened the rest of our presents and then headed out London to hang at my Gran’s house which was the main aspect of Christmas that usually rules over everything else. And from there we had loads of food, did a lot of catching up and played card games for ages, none of which I actually won haha. However even after all of the television, food, family fun and games I wasn’t having the time of my life as I usually am, this was just an ordinary time. 😦 I think it also didn’t help that the rest of my cousins, aunts and uncles weren’t there too. In the end this Christmas was fun, I had gotten some fabulous presents and spent some great time with my family. But in the end it was nowhere near as fun or as amazing as the last few years. Unfortunately there was no magic and I wasn’t feeling the season in the way that I should be.

Anyway hope that y’all people of the world had a great Christmas and I’ll catch ya later 😀