It’s strange how fast things can change in a week, I mean last week everything was fairly turbulent and stressful but ended on a good note and my world was finally in a fun groove. But now I look at my life at this current point in time and its dull, ever so dull, with nothing to do, no one to hang with (well no one that wants to come out and hang at least) and terrible weather, its like some sort of force is in the air preventing me from having fun and enjoying life at uni. One may ask what exactly do I mean? Well I shall give you one basic example of how my world was incredibly fun and fantastic and then literally dropped into the area of bordem in a short space of a few days.
So let’s rewind back to last week Friday where I was facing one of the most stressful days of my life where I had a uni assignment to had in and a job interview to tackle as well and I was in a state of panic, stress and confusion. Needless to say things ended terribly in both departments, not intentionally of course but I encountered a number of problems leading up to my uni assignment hand-in time and I didn’t get in on time and that had messed me up for my job interview I had to do straight afterwards. The way in which my job interview went was just tragic, let’s just say I failed. And then after that I got lost when I decided to walk home from where my job interview was which clearly was not the smartest choice due to the fact that I barely know the geography of Sheffield already so walking was just a bad choice. I was in unknown territory and had to follow signs heading back into the city center and it took me around one hour and half to get back into town and took me an additional half hour to get back to my flat, so all in all it took me around two hours to get home. Thank god I had my music to hold me together or I would not have survived that ordeal. Sure one could argue that if I had taken the bus I wouldn’t have been in such an awful situation, but due to the fact that I left my wallet at home I wouldn’t have been able to get on anyway, plus I don’t like taking public transport and would much prefer to walk most places because I’m stubborn and an idiot in some cases lol.
So as you can imagine by the time I had gotten back I was completely tired and my feet and legs were not functioning very well, so after a quick conversation with my flatmate I crashed out for a few hours and awoke in the later hours of the night. And by this time my flatemate and my other friends had come over and were making noise loud enough to wake me up from my sleeping state (which is hard because I sleep like a rock). So then I ventured out and met them, then we went out to the pub and we actually had a very jolly night out. For me and flatmate it was great to get out and hang in such a cool environment on a social event like that one since we don’t do it that often. We drank, we conversed, we laughed and enjoyed each others company and I got to eat some fast food for the first time this year and it was delightful. That night was incredible, from the disgusting way Friday had started and panned out over the course of the day to the way it changed in the evening it was a massive transition and much-needed one too. So just by the way that night ended I knew that the day after would be just as good if not better. 🙂
So then Saturday came and it was one of my flatmate Matt’s birthday and for many weeks prior to that date he had spoken of the epic night out we were going to have. And so on that day I was woken up by him and his girlfriend, we sang a happy birthday for him and was treated to some lovely cake too. Then several hours went by and then we all got ready and the pre-party session began and my goodness it was incredible, the dancing, the games, the atmosphere, the alcohol, it was perfect. I shall not go into details about the exact happenings, but let’s just say it was very lively and crazy. So then we headed out to meet some other mates in the pub and from there the night just got even crazier, there was a lot of picture-taking, drinking, dancing and madness that ensued. It was a mad night, so much so that I actually forgot the majority of it. I was that far gone. The morning after I felt terrible, but I got a recap of the night from my flatmate Craig and then saw all of the pictures I took and it started to fill in the gaps for me. Even though I still don’t quite remember all of the night, from what I do remember it was the best night I have had in Sheffield for a long time, maybe ever. I was having fun, I was smiling, yes I was in my element… However I think that’s where the fun ended.
And on the day after I spent the majority of the day recovering from the worst stomach ache in existence and only saw one or two of my flatmates that day. And from there the times just got considerably dull, people barely came out of their rooms and when I did come out I barely saw anyone or no one at all. And that continued for days, it’s like the communication between us broke down and no one came out anymore and for the first time in this flat since coming here in September everything felt so disconnected. Which is a complete contrast to how we were for the first few months, just hanging in each others company in the living room all the time either playing games or just making food or just sitting around talking about whatever was on our minds. That was the kind of thing I was used to and to have it taken away felt horrible. I always knew there were going to be times where we weren’t always hanging out but I didn’t think it would end up like this. For me I like my alone time just as much a the next man, but communication and interaction with other people is something I need or I cease to function and get sad. It also doesn’t help that one my flatmates is constantly in and out of flat at the moment and he normally is the glue that holds us together in a lot of ways and he has the fun factor that keeps us together when we’re not all closed off in our rooms.
At at this point in time I’m not sure what the deal is, things are just extremely boring, dull and uninteresting and because of this factor I’m stuck. Without fun I’m not jolly or positive and since I’m still in this funk I can’t function, I don’t feel like being productive with my time and if I’m not doing my own projects or going to uni I have no structure to my life, so nothing happens. So at this current point in my life I write blogs to feel productive. I have YouTube videos to make, unfinished science fiction stories to write and yet I don’t feel like doing it yet because my mood is so wrong. Man this sucks. 😡