QUICK REVIEW: Assassin’s Creed (It Sucks!)

Howdy ladies and gents, time for a film review, the first of 2017 and how does one kick off the new year of film watching in the cinema? By watching a terrible film like Assassin’s Creed that’s how! Now I knew the film would be bad, I heard the reviews coming out of the US, but I didn’t think it’d be THAT bad, but good gravy what I endured yesterday was on another level of bad. I feel like I need to rant about this film a bit so sit back and check out my small assessment of this film.

The plot for the film can be described as the following:

“When Callum Lynch explores the memories of his ancestor Aguilar and gains the skills of a Master Assassin, he discovers he is a descendant of the secret Assassins society.”

So Assassin’s Creed, where do I begin? The film is tedious, long, nonsensical and boring. And let me reiterate, BORING! The worst offence a film can commit is to be boring and good god man this film put me to sleep. The film has come minor interesting elements when focused in the past during the Spanish Inquisition, but we only spend a limited amount of time there and most of the film takes lace in the present and all of that material is dull and tiring. Half of the time I had no idea what was going on and when I was following the plot I was questioning the logic and decisions of all of the characters. The plot’s already pretty ridiculous with some of the history and mythology, and the people behind this film did a poor job of engaging you in the world but also buying into the concept of what was happening. After a while I just stopped caring, and I thought the film would end at least 3 times before it finally stopped and if the film didn’t feel long before you definitely felt it in the last quarter of the film where the film felt like it was dragging its feet. It was insufferable.

The cast try their best with the material but even they can’t look good in this film because unless you are Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard or Jeremy Irons, you were irrelevant or used to further the plot. Most of the secondary characters have no depth or development which makes you wonder why they were in the film in the first place. Fassbender probably was the best as Callum Lynch and Aguilar de Nerha, but that’s probably because he has the most screen time, this might be the worst I’ve seen from him but this was probably more so the script than his acting.

Oh and the presentation, so lacking. Visually this film had some decent action scenes, but they should have been better, they lacked creativity, style and the sound effects for the punching, slicing/cutting of weapons and explodes felt lacking. The use of CGI was bad, far too many characters or locations were done using special effects and while some of it was unavoidable, at the same time it felt overused and since it wasn’t very polished, when it was bad it was really noticeable. Also whoever edited this film needs to be sorted out, not only was there too much editing within the fight scenes, but sometimes the quick edits during conversations or certain scenes was off-putting. The film score from Jed Kurzel was just bad, and had no impact, besides one track that I could remember towards the end, everything else was bad.

In conclusion Assassin’s Creed was just bad, not the worst film I’ve seen, but just incredibly underwhelming and unremarkable. The film had glimmers of goodness and utilized the game’s basic elements, but at the same time it failed to bring the best aspects to forefront while creating all new issues for the film adaptation. Don’t waste your time with this film even if you’re curious, it’s a waste of time.