Scream “MACHETE!” again in this Machete Kills Review

18 Oct

Howdy ladies and gents, its review time once again and here’s my second review of the day in the form of Machete Kills. Now I have been looking forward to this film for a long time, I really liked the first film, I even reviewed it the other day and so I wasn’t sure how they’d be able to top the original, but the trailers looked solid and the cast looked awesome so I had high hopes. So I watched it yesterday and after mulling it over I’m ready to give you lot my thoughts.

The plot can be described as the following premise:

Machete returns as former police detective-turned-spy, who is recruited by U.S. President Rathcock to stop madman revolutionary Mendez from launching a deadly missile aimed at Washington, D.C. However, Machete soon learns the real threat is an international criminal organization led by an eccentric billionaire arms dealing terrorist named Luther Voz, who has launched a conspiracy to start riots in every country.”

I thought the story, while ridiculous as all hell was an enjoyable one. Just like the last film everything feels like a parody of the genre the film’s portraying, but in addition to that there’s notable references to other film genres and films specifically that you wouldn’t believe actually made it into this film. I liked seeing the continuing story of Machete and the crazy individuals that surround him whether they be allies or enemies, one thing that can be said about his lifestyle is that it is anything but boring. One key thing that I think is this film’s strongest and weakest element is stupidity. I hate to call this film stupid, but some of the ridiculous stuff that takes place in this film is absurd and it can either be amazingly funny or dumb down an already silly film and make it less fun.


Also the cast are pretty good too, though some stick out more than others. Danny Trejo is still just as badass as Machete Cortez, he’s still this tougher than tough, completely stern and cool as hell. Trejo hasn’t changed much in his performance but that doesn’t distract from his performance, as the central character he still rocks it. Michelle Rodriguez is still hotness and cool as tough as Luz/Shé and Jessica Alba as Sartana Rivera was alright but not really in the film long enough to be credible, in a way I was glad when she did disappear.

Sofía Vergara as Madame Desdemona was great and sexy, she was this crazy woman who has this proper hatred towards men and has a specific beef towards Machete. Amber Heard was super hot as Miss San Antonio, she was Machete’s handler and gave him intel on his mission. I also liked the contributions from Cuba Gooding Jr., Antonio Banderas and Lady Gaga, those three in particular have some cool moments in the film. And then there’s Mel Gibson as Luther Voz, he was simply brilliant. I have missed Mel Gibson in films so much in recent years and I was glad to see him return, he still has a wonderful screen presence and was hilarious, menacing and all sorts of badass as the key villain in the film who has a crazy plan that will change the world.


Demián Bichir as Mendez was this mental as this bad guy who had like two split personalities and this made for some really funny and random scenes. Charlie Sheen was awesome as President Rathcock, it was a good role for him, it wasn’t over done nor was it too cheesy, it was just decent and very him. Vanessa Hudgens as Cereza was decent but not in the film long enough to leave an impression and Alexa Vega as KillJoy looked hot but didn’t do that much outside of her action scenes,Marko Zaror is a beast as Zaror, he’s this mutant martial arts guy who moves all over the place and kicks the crap out of everyone and it was awesome!

MC2-DF-13194.CR2 machete-kills-image10

As for the presentation it is pretty good. Visually the film is even more crazy than before, the film grain is back, the action is ridiculous, violent, hilarious and stupidly creative and the special effects used for the GCI blood and green screen backgrounds look so cheap but it adds to the charm of the film. Also the soundtrack by Carl Thiel is good but not nearly as good as the original and was severely lacking in the Machete theme song.


In conclusion Machete Kills, just like the first film was frigging awesome. It is so over-the-top, action-packed and hilarious, but here its ridiculous factor is cranked up even higher than before. While it doesn’t have the same initial wow and shock factor that made the first so much fun and it is really silly at times, I can’t help but like random stuff like this. Good times were had with this film.

7/10 (More of the same carnage from before but on a larger scale, highly recommend if you’re a fan of the original.)

So what did you think of Machete Kills? Did you like it or hate it? Whatever your thoughts are drop them in the comments below and I’ll see ya on the next review! 😀



Posted by on October 18, 2013 in Film Reviews, Films, Media, Reviews


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “Scream “MACHETE!” again in this Machete Kills Review

  1. CMrok93

    October 18, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    It’s totally over-the-top and idiotic, but that’s just the type of flick you get with Rodriguez and his crew of misfits. Can’t go too wrong with that. Good review.

    • Hypersonic55

      October 21, 2013 at 2:04 pm

      Cheers man, yeah I hear ya, Machete Kills was everything I expected it to be and then some. It’s just absurd and stupid, but that’s the kind of fun stuff I like.


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