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Month of Superhero Film Reviews: Spider-Man 3

03 Jun

Howdy ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Day #3 of my Month of Superhero Film Reviews! During this month I’ll be reviewing of some of the best and worst comic book adapted films. Okay so we reviewed Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2, now it’s time to conclude the Sam Raimi Spider-Man trilogy with what is regarded as one of the worst superhero films ever and the one film that killed this otherwise great series, Spider-Man 3.

Oh god, you and I both know that you don’t have to watch this film to know that it sucks, but for the sake of the review I’ll put myself through this hell. Bloody hell, how did Sam Raimi, his crew and Sony go so wrong with this film, it was gonna be huge and had the potential to be the best in the series. In the end it was huge alright… A HUGE LOAD OF ASS! But anyways I’ll save my ranting and raving for now, let’s talk about film section by section starting with the story.

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So the story in Spider-Man 3 is set months after the last film, here Peter Parker enjoys a successful life as Spider-Man because the city of New York love him. However those times of peace are disrupted when Flint Marko, an escaped convict comes into play as the new villain Sandman. Add to Parker’s troubles that the fact that Harry Osborn still wants Peter dead because of what happened to his father, he’s also having relationship problems with Mary Jane, we also have the introduction of Eddy Brock at the Daily Bugle and the alien symbiote too.

Argh! The story alone in this film and the way its handled is just stupid, absurd and very frustrating to watch considering that source material is so strong, but I’ll moan about that later, let’s talk about the cast first.

While I can’t hate the cast too much because of the script they had to work with, I can’t say that some of these performances aren’t out of the area of criticism. Firstly there’s Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker/Spider-Man. Man, if people didn’t like Maguire as Parker before then they definitely won’t in this film. Some of Maguire’s acting was cheesy enough but in this film there are things I can’t forget and it really hurt me. Nuff said. As for Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson, by this point in the series I didn’t really care for her character, plus she’s a bit of a player, I mean she’s gone with Peter, Harry, John and Flash, makes me wonder if the series had continued what other men would she have taken? And then there’s James Franco as Harry Osborn/New Goblin, his character I didn’t mind as much as the previous two and I liked his dark and underhanded nature. But there were some inconsistencies and silly moments that I can’t ignore.

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Oh then there’s Thomas Haden Church as Flint Marko/Sandman. I’m gonna be straight with you lot, I didn’t like this character, at all. Haden Church I don’t believe was the right man for this role and while I’m not overly aware of Sandman’s origins in the comics, this version of him was only relevant for a bit and was sort of forgotten about and then brought back a little while after because he was apparently relevant again… And then there’s frigging Topher Grace as Eddie Brock/Venom. I can sum him up as both characters in one word: DISGUSTING! NEXT!

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Now we have Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy, probably the best thing to come out of this film when it comes to the new cast. I mean sure her character is hardly relevant and she was basically shoehorned into the film but Dallas Howard is so hot in this film it is worth watching just for her alone. Rosemary Harris as Aunt May was good and gave use a nice performance even though it was in a smaller capacity than before. And lastly J. K. Simmons still makes for a good J. Jonah Jameson, unfortunately there’s not nearly as much screen time for him as there was before.

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When it comes to the presentation it decent but not nearly a good overall when compared to the last two films. Firstly the CGI and special effects are good for the most part and have improved a great deal from Spider-Man 2, this makes for some very nice-looking action sequences, the best of which is Peter and Harry’s aerial fight and when Spider-Man saves Gwen Stacy. Those are the best scenes in the film. Everything else is just not up to par and has too much special effects. As for the soundtrack, it sucks! There’s no Danny Elfman! It bugs me that Elfman and Sam Raimi couldn’t come to an agreement when Spider-Man 3 came out, instead we have Christopher Young who borrows Elfman’s themes while creating new ones for this film. The end result is a soundtrack that seriously lacks the impact that the previous films had, besides the songs when Sandman disappears near the end of the film and when the old themes are being used, the rest of the soundtrack is weak.

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Ah man! After watching this film again today I actually hate it more than I did before. There used to be some things I actually liked, but I guess after turning 23 my opinion has changed a great deal since the last time I saw this film.

So what worked in the film? Well only a tiny set of things like:

  • The first fight between Peter and Harry, that was some different and dynamic stuff
  • Bryce Dallas Howard, she was incredibly hot and totally showed up Kirsten Dunst
  • The Spider-Man crane scene when he saves Gwen Stacy, that’s cool
  • Peter and MJ’s break-up, that was nicely done and was kind of heartbreaking

As for the stuff that didn’t work? Take your pick, this film is filled with stuff that didn’t work. But here’s the main offenders:

  • Why in the holy mother of heck was Flint Marko the killer of Uncle Ben? Who thought that plot twist was smart? It basically took a shit on the first film and made everything that happened prior to this film pointless!
  • Having 3 villains in one film, such a foolish idea
  • Topher Grace as Eddy Brock, who the hell cast this guy? HE SUCKS! He totally kills the character in every way
  • Venom. Nuff said.
  • The black suit, it looked horrible and its powers were never fully looked into or explained
  • Shoehorning characters like Gwen Stacy and Eddy Brock/Venom into the film knowing that those characters are popular in the franchise and really needed more development
  • Peter Parker the Emo
  • Tobey Maguire dancing in the street
  • The whole jazz bar scene, that is just something I’ll never recover from… EVER

And lastly how does it compare to the comics? Well let me put it like this: HA! It literally takes the source material and takes a big dump on it. Besides having some similar-looking elements it was terrible. Firstly what the hell did they do to Venom? The character got completely butchered! The look of the costume was wrong, he was so small and ugly and poorly handled when it came to his powers, he wasn’t even the main villain which was terrible! With that in mind I feel the need to mention the symbiote in general, how it showed up the films is unlike the comics and its powers were so dumbed down and was never fully shown in the film, there was so much more that could have been done and yet what we got was this poor imitation! Also the New Goblin, that was just lazy. I’m all for change in adaptations but that was just weak, also how come Harry can take the gas that his father did in the first film but come out without going all crazy? Inconsistencies! There’s so much more I could moan about but I’m gonna leave it here for now.

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In conclusion Spider-Man 3 is one of those films that will be forever hated and for good reason. It tried to do too much, changed many of the basic elements that made the previous two films so successful and basically hurt me mentally and physically in ways I’ll never recover from. I used to give this film the benefit of the doubt, but no longer, it sucks and that’s all there is to it. I still blame Sony for this!

Rating: 5/10 (There’s tiny elements of good, but they’re hidden away behind all the crappy parts!)

So there’s my review people, only 27 more to go. So have you seen Spider-Man 3 and if so what are your thoughts on it? Drop me a comment and let me know your thoughts yo! Come back tomorrow and I’ll have a new film review online, until then peace out!

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3 Comments

Posted by on June 3, 2013 in Film Reviews, Films, Media, Reviews

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

3 responses to “Month of Superhero Film Reviews: Spider-Man 3

  1. Tim The Film Guy

    June 3, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    Emo Peter Parker can go fuck himself!

     
    • Hypersonic55

      June 4, 2013 at 4:01 pm

      I hear that, as soon as I saw that scene when he messes up his hair in the mirror I thought to myself “Why did he do that? It was so pointless, foolishness!”

       
  2. Andreu Cornico

    June 4, 2013 at 3:12 am

    Tobey Maguire dancing in the street is actually funny. He has a place there in end of “How The Amazing Spider-Man should have ended” video clip by HISHEdotcom@youtube, hahaha!
    Great review.

     

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