It has been something I have thought about for quite some time now, but only in more recent times in my life has it become more and more obvious. The whole concept of “actions have consequences” or believing in fate, regardless of what you call it, in my life it seems like that stuff actually applies a great deal. While most may call it a series of highly coincidental occurrences I say that sometimes some of that stuff actually happened for a reason and in a lot of cases my life has been better for it. Like how in the world of education I never got the grades I wanted after school so I had to take additional courses in college to get the qualifications necessary to get to Level 3 and while it was a pain to see my mates from school advancing I can’t regret my movements in college. I met so many lovely people who became my friends, I learnt so many additional skills that lent themselves to my later courses and in the 4 years I spent at college I got so many more opportunities than I would have if I had gotten super high marks in school, so in a way I’m sort of glad of my failure in a way haha. And that also applies to university as well. I had applied for uni in 2010, but then bailed before making my full application through UCAS at the end of that year, so throughout the academic year of 2011 I took a year out and did volunteering. And those days were some of the best times of my life, gaining more skills, getting work experience, networking and so on and so forth. Even when I applied to Westminster and didn’t get in there but was accepted at Sheffield Hallam University I was thinking maybe things would be alright. After all that I knew that this was all part of the bigger picture. So then I went into uni in September and since I have made some incredible new friends, I like my new course and living the university life is an incredible experience.
But sometimes the things that happen in life may not be as big, in fact it could just be the little things like meeting up with friends or certain people in those random locations are the things I find really special. So many times I have been late to a place or chose to take another direction to go to a certain place only to find an old friend or a mate who I haven’t seen in months or years and it feels so good to hang and talk. Back at Christmas I met up with an old friend who I hadn’t seen for 2 years and I was just mentioning him in a conversation with another friend when he just appeared out of nowhere. On that day I know that fate had a plan. Or take this more recent occasion when I was getting off the train I happened to spot my friend’s girlfriend and him on the other side train and we got to catch up again. Now this guy is in the army and it’s normally around 6 months before he comes back to visit, so after I saw him in December I thought there wasn’t gonna be a chance for me to meet him for ages, but there he was on the train with his girlfriend. And to think if I’d gotten the train I originally set myself for an hour earlier then that wouldn’t have happened. Again it had to be fate calling and it felt so good. While most of these occurrences have just been by chance or a strange twist of fate, they really have made me happier or made my life better in some way shape or form.
Sometimes however one has to endure times of great pain and struggle and suffer some of those days where you wish you hadn’t gotten up in the morning. Those are the days that frustrate you, depress you, hurt you, possibly make move you to tears or leave you in an emotional state for some time to come and that’s when you start to question whether things were meant to play out like the way in which they do. God knows I have done that on plenty of occasions. In my life I have suffered with my education from school right up until now in university, also for some reason I can’t seem to keep sustainable friendships with my older friends as they continuously drift out of my life through no fault of my own or take for instance that I used to be completely obsessed with drawing and making things within the area of art and cartoons, but these days I barely do any of that stuff and I’m lucky if I find the time or the effort to draw something truly meaningful. So one does wonder is this the life I should truly be living? Is there something better? Do I have to sit through all this shit before the good stuff comes around?
So right now I am thinking that maybe there is a reason why everything in my life has played out the way it has, I’ve always been a man who has liked to roll the dice of life and see where it takes me and for the most part every move has been a good one. Though I have rolled and lost many times, but as with most things in life not everything is gonna be happy-go-lucky all the time and you gotta go through a lot of shit before you make it through the other side. Though there are some who don’t have that problem, some make it though life without any problems or worries, I call those people rich people. But forget them, fate is a thing that I believe to some degree, though it is highly questionable with the way in which certain things go down in the world. Some may say that fate doesn’t existence and we ourselves make our own luck/fates and while I agree with that totally, I can’t help but feel that there is a greater force making sure I land in the places that I do.