Last night before I went to bed I said to myself “I want more out of life.” In a way that’s what I’ve always wanted for myself in the final years of college leading up to university and so on but the more I dwell on it, the more I actually feel those words as a statement have more meaning and that I’ve actually always wanted something like it.
Its strange, for a while now in the back of my head ever since I was a teenager I’ve always felt like things in my life could so be much more than it was. I’ve always considered my life to be something of a mystery, like something I am constantly trying to figure out and I while I like the normality of it all, I think that I’ve hoped that it would expand further, that I could become more and I would live a much more fulfilling life. That’s not to say that I don’t like my life, heck I’d be lying if I said that. I’ve had some incredible experiences with my family and friends in many different places. I guess I’m just greedy. But it’s true, I think this feeling really has been lurking around in the back of my mind since I feel in love with superheroes in comic books back in my childhood.
Even though I knew that these characters were purely fictional and obviously none of the stuff that applied in their lives would apply to me I think it was just the fascination with their lifestyles, adventures and charismatic personalities that made me believe that somewhere down the line that I would be able to create a life for myself where I could have a fancy life similar theirs, something that felt amazing, beyond the basic status quo. I think one of the those feelings I had of a greater fulfilling lifestyle came when I went to Canada a few years ago and it felt incredible, after only a few days of being down there I felt like it was a place of opportunity and new beginnings. Even though I had only gone to Canada twice once in 2006 and once again in 2007 I could imagine starting my life down there in a few years after I had done away with college. And to be honest I still think that I can obtain that kind of thing, obviously not the superhero life (even though that would be frigging sweet.), I mean to have a life beyond the norm, to have something special, fantastic, inspirational, maybe even magical.
Maybe I’m just talking crazy, maybe I don’t know what I am talking about, but I honestly feel that my heart and soul is telling me that I can have more and I yearn for it, I don’t how I’ll get it or when or whether it’ll even happen but I guess we’ll see what the future says and live in hope. 🙂